Why are so many women being diagnosed with ADHD in their 40s and 50s? This article explores the history of ADHD research, the possibility of diagnostic bias toward boys, and the emerging connection between ADHD, hormones, and women's brain health.
My best friend pointed it out when I was 50, ~5 years ago. Pandemic was winding down, my ex-husband was becoming increasingly emotionally abusive (which was obviously all my fault, or so I somehow managed to believe at the time), I overcommitted at work, felt like I was parenting terribly, and was exhausted. Five years later I tried a med that worked wonders. Divorced now ex within 6 months of starting it. Disentangling anxiety and ADHD was key for my being able to move forward.
I was diagnosed at the age of 33. My diagnosis came about because I entered outpatient treatment for my eating disorder, and my care team noticed that I was struggling with things like interception (noticing hunger and satiety cues), remembering to eat, and remembering when and what I last ate.
Anne this is fascinating. When most people hear ADHD, they think attention. Very few think hunger cues, eating patterns, or body awareness. You’ve just highlighted a dimension of the story I hadn’t considered.
Thank you Kendra for sharing this. The child-to-parent diagnosis pathway keeps appearing in a lot of the stories I am following. And yes, “lots of feelings” may be the most honest description of all. Relief, grief, recognition, and questions all arriving at once.
I'm having a similar journey. Started questioning whether I really was neurotypical after my kid's diagnosis... He has high support needs so the added stress of managing that while approaching 40 is what made my own "house of cards" fall down, and why I relate so much to this post.
Diagnosed at 30 with ADHD. The male doctor I saw told me I wouldn't possibly have ADHD because I'm a "successful wife" and have a "successful job". He gave me a questionnaire and sent one home with me for my husband to fill out on my behalf.
I then had a qEEG done by a psychologist where she told me my beta/theta ratio was indicative of ADHD perhaps, though not diagnostic. I did neurotherapy twice a week for 5 weeks but they didn't see the results they were looking for. I'm supposed to go back for another round of treatment, but then I got pregnant.
Thank you for sharing this. What’s crazy is how success was used as evidence against your diagnosis, when for many women success may actually be the result of years of compensating.
Years of feeling like no one really liked me (when objectively- they did and do). Years of losing things. Years of spacing out in class when it wasn’t interesting to me. …. Years of being treated for depression, and then depression with anxiety, until finally, my ability to hold everything in my head, to maintain organization so that things didn’t get missed, to hold thoughts together began deteriorating. I blamed motherhood (I had my first child at 35… so was into my 40’s when they started having schedules to keep). I called it “Mom Brain” with a self deprecating laugh. And for awhile, I got lucky because my depression meds also help ADD. But then I started feeling over medicated, and was able to wean off all of those drugs. And Mom Brain got worse as it ceased being true that 80% of my interactions were with people under the age of 7.
I asked about ADD, because some of my younger friends had actually been diagnosed. I was told no. Then finally, as I neared 60, I was finally diagnosed with ADD. So much makes sense now. Even why I can’t remember that I bought delicious fresh food I and looked forward to eating, and then having to throw it away because I didn’t see it in the fridge until I cleared it out.
And still, when I’ve asked for help managing the symptoms - they just tell me to use the planners that have failed and Kai failing…
Two weeks ago, with much trepidation, I wrote about my experience being diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe old age of 42. Just 2 months ago.
I title of my post is, "I thought I was lazy." because that is the exact phrase I mentioned to my Pediatrician colleague who countered my statement that I'm not lazy and encouraged me to get evaluated. I experienced all the stages you mention.
And as a Pediatrician, the irony is so palpable its sad: that I can diagnose ADHD in children due to the classic signs we study in medical school, but i couldn't recognize it in myself because as women, we learn to compensate so well.
Until it all crumbles in midlife with transitions of life, career and hormones.
Yes, this is a HUGE topic of interest indeed. I cannot wait to follow along the series and if you ever do a live/podcast, I'd be happy to participate.
My best friend pointed it out when I was 50, ~5 years ago. Pandemic was winding down, my ex-husband was becoming increasingly emotionally abusive (which was obviously all my fault, or so I somehow managed to believe at the time), I overcommitted at work, felt like I was parenting terribly, and was exhausted. Five years later I tried a med that worked wonders. Divorced now ex within 6 months of starting it. Disentangling anxiety and ADHD was key for my being able to move forward.
Wow Mimi what a journey. That your best friend is the one who pointed it out says volumes. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
I was diagnosed at the age of 33. My diagnosis came about because I entered outpatient treatment for my eating disorder, and my care team noticed that I was struggling with things like interception (noticing hunger and satiety cues), remembering to eat, and remembering when and what I last ate.
Anne this is fascinating. When most people hear ADHD, they think attention. Very few think hunger cues, eating patterns, or body awareness. You’ve just highlighted a dimension of the story I hadn’t considered.
I didn't find out I was AuDHD til 40 when my child was diagnosed. Lots of feelings around that statement. 🫶
Thank you Kendra for sharing this. The child-to-parent diagnosis pathway keeps appearing in a lot of the stories I am following. And yes, “lots of feelings” may be the most honest description of all. Relief, grief, recognition, and questions all arriving at once.
I'm having a similar journey. Started questioning whether I really was neurotypical after my kid's diagnosis... He has high support needs so the added stress of managing that while approaching 40 is what made my own "house of cards" fall down, and why I relate so much to this post.
Diagnosed at 30 with ADHD. The male doctor I saw told me I wouldn't possibly have ADHD because I'm a "successful wife" and have a "successful job". He gave me a questionnaire and sent one home with me for my husband to fill out on my behalf.
I then had a qEEG done by a psychologist where she told me my beta/theta ratio was indicative of ADHD perhaps, though not diagnostic. I did neurotherapy twice a week for 5 weeks but they didn't see the results they were looking for. I'm supposed to go back for another round of treatment, but then I got pregnant.
Thank you for sharing this. What’s crazy is how success was used as evidence against your diagnosis, when for many women success may actually be the result of years of compensating.
This is me to a tee.
Years of feeling like no one really liked me (when objectively- they did and do). Years of losing things. Years of spacing out in class when it wasn’t interesting to me. …. Years of being treated for depression, and then depression with anxiety, until finally, my ability to hold everything in my head, to maintain organization so that things didn’t get missed, to hold thoughts together began deteriorating. I blamed motherhood (I had my first child at 35… so was into my 40’s when they started having schedules to keep). I called it “Mom Brain” with a self deprecating laugh. And for awhile, I got lucky because my depression meds also help ADD. But then I started feeling over medicated, and was able to wean off all of those drugs. And Mom Brain got worse as it ceased being true that 80% of my interactions were with people under the age of 7.
I asked about ADD, because some of my younger friends had actually been diagnosed. I was told no. Then finally, as I neared 60, I was finally diagnosed with ADD. So much makes sense now. Even why I can’t remember that I bought delicious fresh food I and looked forward to eating, and then having to throw it away because I didn’t see it in the fridge until I cleared it out.
And still, when I’ve asked for help managing the symptoms - they just tell me to use the planners that have failed and Kai failing…
Wow. Its like reading into a mirror.
Two weeks ago, with much trepidation, I wrote about my experience being diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe old age of 42. Just 2 months ago.
I title of my post is, "I thought I was lazy." because that is the exact phrase I mentioned to my Pediatrician colleague who countered my statement that I'm not lazy and encouraged me to get evaluated. I experienced all the stages you mention.
And as a Pediatrician, the irony is so palpable its sad: that I can diagnose ADHD in children due to the classic signs we study in medical school, but i couldn't recognize it in myself because as women, we learn to compensate so well.
Until it all crumbles in midlife with transitions of life, career and hormones.
Yes, this is a HUGE topic of interest indeed. I cannot wait to follow along the series and if you ever do a live/podcast, I'd be happy to participate.